What did you expect to happen?

When humans are raised or born into a society or sub-culture that places a premium on
personal choice,
accountability for those choices,
and
taking responsibility for your commitments,
I continue to be somewhat surprised when people express dismay (or reserved disapproval) when natural consequences of those choices occur
... as if they were anticipating  the human could have
or should have
called down a larger miracle
(for lack of better terminology) for him/herself;

In some sense judging, "what you did with God's help wasn't good enough".
The miracle that was,
wasn't good enough
(at least in the observer's frame of reference).

What it feels like, on the receiving end (of that judgment or observation) though, reads more along the lines of,
"If you had asked for God's help
(prayed more, been more committed, more obedient, etc.)
(implying that you didn't, or hadn't),
He would have . . . insert the observer's expectation here " .

[If you haven't experienced this, or come across someone who has, you may want to stop reading now .. . but who am I to judge how you digest what you read.]

I am constantly surprised how miraculously well humans do with the myriad of complex and often inhumane circumstances (aka insufficient to support human life) they are called to live. Maybe that provides insight to my realist (idealist ... or pessimist ?) attitude about humanity in general. There are so many variables that impact human growth and observable progress
(genetics,
opportunity,
human modeling of both peers and mentors,
socioeconomic status,
education,
death of one's provider or primary caregiver,
incurred disability,
developmental disability and other special needs,
classism/racism/and prejudice,
divorce of one's parents,
child victimization and cruelty,
cyclical family abuse,
etc.)

Societies (and particularly sub-cultures) are anxious to provide humans with an exhaustive list of requirements and expectations on what humanity should look like, but rarely provide the most optimum (optimal ?) environments to grow those amazing humans.
Occasionally (often?) that verbalization becomes misunderstood, however; as exemplified by this quote,

. . . selfishness is the element that breaks and corrodes and destroys [marriages / relationships], as it destroys lives and all that is good.

The tricky thing about hearing that though, when you are in your formative years, is (a) knowing what constitutes selfishness, (b) understanding the balance (/difference ?) between self-preservation or self-interest and selfishness, and (c) recognizing your perception of your own reality is often blurred by others input (positive, negative, manipulative, self-interested, judgmental, well-intention-ed, etc.) ...AND movement from selfishness to selflessness exists on a developmental continuum.

There are some things that assist in that development and others that hinder it.

Lots of of those inhumane circumstances mentioned above [aka insufficient to support human life] tend to retard its growth (meaning, slow it down); and some make selflessness virtually impossible, because so many essential developmental supports are absent or inconsistent.

I recognize including this video may be a departure from expectation (as it perhaps has little to do with my point), but I love so much of what David says about his experience.

 "I don't know what I was expecting . . . " [22:45]

"I was just being hard on myself, and I was stressed out." [22:57]

"Something I just didn't understand about myself . . . " [22:25] 

"He just let me know he loved me." [23:25]

 (Mayim:) Did he tell you, "God loves you."?

(David:) "yeah. Yeah, he did. And that was all he said." [23:30]

"It was my own perception of what I believed that was punishing me." [24:00}

(Mayim:) "What do you think God wants for you?
"Do you think of what 'God wants for you' ?" [42:15]

"What God wants for him is even better than what he wanted for himself" [premise of My Little Prayer by David Archuletta]